Yesterday I shared a bit about the women’s conference I went to. I briefly shared about some stones. I’m going to elaborate on those stones today.
As I shared in my post, we each chose a stone, but I didn’t share why. In the sanctuary were three large wooden crosses. At each cross they placed a basket of white stones. They had written things on one side of the stones, the side that wasn’t seen, and prayed that each woman would get the stone that God wanted her to have, that each woman would get the message that God wanted her to get.
The theme of the conference was “Who I Am” and we were discussing labels that we are given – mom, wife, teacher, etc. – but there are also less kind labels that we carry around. These may be labels that someone else imposed on us or ones we stuck ourselves with. These labels cover up the labels that God gives us.
We were then asked to take the four slips of paper from our bags and write on them labels that we’ve been carrying around. Then we would stick them on nails on the crosses and pick up the stone with the label God has for us.
The first label that came to my mind was “single mom”. That may seem innocent, also true, but most days that label has a lot of weight. In fact, some days, it’s crushing. It’s not all bad. Some of the adjectives that can be associated with single moms include strong, brave, superwoman, and amazing, but the negatives are heavier. Some see single moms as needy, rejected, lonely, pitiful, and damaged. Those are all labels I’ve held onto by my own thoughts too.
I’ve been a single mom for so long that sometimes I feel like it defines me or that I even hide behind it. Maybe if I make my children the focus then no one will see how much it hurts or how hard it is. Even the positive labels that go with “single mom” are frightening. Being a whole set of parents to a child is intimidating, even more so when you feel like you’re being watched, when you feel like someone is just waiting for you to screw up again.
I wrote “single mom” on one slip of paper because I am tired of being defined as a single mom. I am so much more than that. And if God has proven anything to me in the last week, it’s that I am anything but single. I have God on my side, fighting my battles and showing me His immense love for me. I also have friends who have seen the good, the bad, and the very ugly and have stuck with me. I am a mom, not just a mom, but I am a mom with a purpose from God and He is my Husband, my Protector, and my Provider. I am not a single mom, and I nailed that label to the cross, because I am tired of being defined by my past and circumstances.
I then picked my stone from the basket and sat down. When I turned my stone over, I fought tears. I don’t like to cry in front of people, because I feel like that makes me less strong. (Another label I’m trying to let go of.) My stone said Redeemed. That was most definitely meant for me. Redeemed, by definition, means to make something bad or unpleasant better or more acceptable; to buy back; to free from distress or harms; to free from captivity by payment of ransom; to extricate from or help to overcome something detrimental; to release from blame or debt; to free from the consequence of sin. This was my stone, my Ebenezer. God doesn’t see my past, He sees who I am through His Son Jesus who, with His blood, bought me in my ugliness and made me beautiful and whole. I am not who I was. I am not who my circumstances or past say I am. I am not who others say I am. I am who God says I am, and I am redeemed.
And God in His awesomeness further confirmed this to me. After the conference, I got into my car and turned on the radio and “I Am Redeemed” was playing. Thank You, God.
Colossians 1:13-14, “For He (God the Father) has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”
Bravery Rising 